Our Rainbow Baby is Finally Here
It feels quite surreal to write this article for you today to announce that we’re finally expecting our rainbow baby! 🌈
After two heart-shattering losses last year, I questioned whether this moment would ever come. The journey through loss and healing felt endless, and yet, here I am—finally able to share the news that our rainbow baby is on the way. Overwhelmed with gratitude and excitement, I am currently 14 weeks as I write this post, and it is such a special experience to see our little one growing stronger each day. I’d love to take this space to share what this journey has been like for us and what helped get us through the early pregnancy anxieties, especially trying to conceive post miscarriage.
When Intuition Speaks: Our Early Positive
Thanks to two previous early pregnancies, I’ve gotten to know my body and the signs quite well. I like to call it a mix of physical and spiritual intuition. Towards the end of November 2024, I started to feel the familiar feelings of pregnancy and decided to take a pregnancy test on the 25th at 3 weeks and 4 days. It was no surprise that it was positive, which left me with a mix of feelings. You know the saying, “When you want to take a break, it will happen?”
When I saw the two pink lines, my body knew before my mind could process it. But this time, something felt… different. The usual anxiety was there, but there was also a whisper of something new—a quiet reassurance, a feeling that maybe, just maybe, this time was meant to be.
The Unexpected Timing: When Life Has Other Plans
Well, it was very much like this for me. After my second miscarriage, I was honestly quite exhausted: mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Following my cycle patterns, I intentionally talked with my fiancé to express that I wanted to take a break from trying and to be careful not to get pregnant. For those who are curious, once you have gotten pregnant the first time, you can quickly get pregnant again the first period after a miscarriage or pregnancy loss.
Processing the News with Mixed Emotions
Seeing that positive the morning of the 25th left me with mixed emotions. I immediately was very resistant to the news out of the fear that I knew a miscarriage could very much be the result again. I didn’t have any other feelings to go off of, seeing as I had yet to receive good news about a viable pregnancy. Thankfully, due to my mastery in honoring my emotions, I snapped into gratitude and trust that I could handle whatever results awaited me.
I allowed myself to sit without judgment with every emotion—fear, resistance, hope, and gratitude. I reminded myself that I didn’t have to feel only joy to be deserving of this pregnancy. Healing is messy, and so is hope.
The First Steps: Early Testing and Medical Support
I immediately sent my doctor a note to mention that I received a positive with an at-home pregnancy test. Following the second miscarriage and the tests I did, we came up with a plan to test my hCG and progesterone levels as soon as I got the next positive test. She requested to get my levels checked, and a few days later, those numbers came back viable, and they ordered another test to check the following week. The levels had increased beautifully, giving us a sign that, based on my hCG and progesterone, we had a viable pregnancy.
Our First Glimpse: The Early Ultrasound
Given my history, I asked my doctor if I could get an early visibility ultrasound around 6 weeks, as I was fairly certain that my other pregnancys stopped progressing at that week/mark. At 6 weeks, I laid on that ultrasound table, my fiances hand gripping mine as the ultrasound tech scanned for the embryo. In one moment, the doctor moved the wand, and then… there it was. That magical flickering movement showcasing our baby’s heart beating. I can’t begin to describe the permission we were given in that moment to breathe, to hope, to dream. Our original ultrasound appointment was the following week at week 7, which brought another special gift. We not only saw the heartbeat, but we got to hear its sound. I don’t think I have ever heard a more beautiful sound.
The Waiting Game: Finding Peace Between Appointments
What came next after that week was my life’s most prominent trust fall. We didn’t have another appointment to check on the baby until week 10. My fellow loss mamas will understand this feeling, but the anxiety crept in during those long weeks between the appointments. The stretch from week 7 to week 10 felt like an eternity. To help soothe my worries, I purchased an at-home fetal heartbeat doppler as they can detect the heartbeat as early as 9 weeks.
That first moment at 9 1/2 weeks, lying in our bedroom, searching for our baby’s heartbeat… I’ll never forget it. The instant that galloping sound echoed in the monitor, I felt the greatest relief I’ve ever experienced. Now it’s one of my daily rituals—it’s a reminder of my belief for hope and a reminder that miracles just take a little time. As for our most recent ultrasounds at 10 and 12 weeks, we got to see the profile of our baby and what a sight this was. To see our little squish with a full head and body, arms, hands, legs, and feet… It shows me that our little expected August baby is just as excited to be in our lives as we are excited to welcome them in our arms.
The Tools and Support That Made a Difference
For anyone walking this path, I want to share the things that have been absolute lifesavers on this journey:
- My Natalist Early Pregnancy Test Strips and Easy@Home Pregnancy Test Strips were helpful for testing for early pregnancy at the first signs and tracking when I received a negative test following my miscarriages. They’re sensitive enough to detect early pregnancy, which was vital for me to understand the changes in my cycle. I also love that they are more eco-friendly than plastic tests.
- The at-home Doppler has been worth every penny for peace of mind. What are the best times to find the heartbeat? Early morning or really anytime during the day, with a full bladder and lying flat. I am thinking about making a video on this, so I will be sure to link it once it’s live.
- I advocated for an early pregnancy plan with my doctor after the second miscarriage, and through many tests, I am grateful to have a doctor who cared and made a world of difference. They never once dismissed my anxiety or concerns or made me feel like I was asking too many questions.
- Finding other rainbow mamas or mamas in general online has been incredibly healing. We speak the same language. The Peanut app was a lifeline for me through each of my miscarriages, but also talking through anxieties with early pregnancy this time around.
Celebrating Our Rainbow: Special Moments and Rituals
As we move forward in this pregnancy, there are a few ways that I have been celebrating our rainbow baby:
- Taking weekly bump photos to celebrate every moment
- Journaling and writing letters to our rainbow baby
- Being gentle with myself on harder days and not feeling guilty when I need to reschedule or cancel anything on my calendar
- Creating special rituals to connect with our little one
Every little moment—every bump photo, every heartbeat, every movement that feels like an early kick—feels like a piece of a dream coming true. And soon, I’ll get to hold this little soul in my arms, look into their eyes, and tell them how long we waited for them, how deeply they are loved.
A Message of Hope to Fellow Rainbow Mamas
To every mama who has walked this path of loss and longing, who knows the bittersweet mixture of hope and fear that comes with each pregnancy test, ultrasound, and milestone, I see you. I feel you. I am you. My hope in sharing this announcement is that it isn’t just about our joy; it’s a story and message of hope for everyone still waiting to catch their rainbow.
I know what it’s like to hold a pregnancy test with shaking hands, torn between excitement and fear. I know what it’s like to prepare your heart for hope, only to have it shattered again. But I also know that light finds a way through even in the darkest moments. If you’re still waiting, please don’t lose hope—your story isn’t over.
Whether you’re early in your journey or have been walking this path for years, whether you’re dealing with loss or still waiting for your first positive, your feelings are valid. Your hopes matter. Your story matters. We’re all in this together, holding space for each other’s dreams. I don’t know what happened to make this pregnancy sticky, but just know that sometimes the body just needs to do what is best.
Miracles don’t always come on our timeline, but they do come. And when they do, they are worth every tear, every moment of waiting, and every prayer whispered into the universe. If you’re still waiting, please know your rainbow baby is also coming.
Looking Forward: Our Journey Continues
Follow our journey on YouTube as I plan to start creating content specific to pregnancy, celebrating these precious moments with our rainbow baby, and other content specific to motherhood. I might also write another article on what I did during early pregnancy to help support a healthy baby. If that’s something you’d find helpful, let me know!
You can also take a peek at our announcement on social media here! ↓
Copyright 2025 – Simply Ashley Graham – All Rights Reserved
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