Grief is something we all go through, but how often do we allow ourselves to truly talk about it? In a society that often encourages us to push forward, keep smiling, and focus on the positive, the reality of grief often gets brushed aside. Embracing grief is essential to the human experience, and I believe that we need to create more space for these tough conversations—to normalize them, and to allow ourselves the space to process.

As someone who has been deeply impacted by grief, both personally and in my work, I know firsthand how isolating it can feel when others around you don’t understand. And that’s why I want to share my journey—my grief, my healing, and what I’ve learned along the way. My hope is that by opening up this conversation, we can help each other find grace in grieving and bring more compassion into how we collectively handle loss.

Grief as a Part of Life

We tend to think of grief as something that happens to us when someone we love passes away, but grief comes in many forms. It’s there when relationships end, when we lose jobs or opportunities, when we experience a miscarriage, or even when life simply doesn’t turn out the way we imagined. Every loss we experience is valid, even if it doesn’t fit neatly into society’s idea of what grief “should” look like.

One of the things I’ve come to realize is that grief is a constant companion in life. It doesn’t just hit us once and then leave us alone. It changes shape, ebbs and flows, and shows up in moments we least expect. Sometimes it comes with a flood of tears, and other times it sits quietly in the background as a dull ache or as a voice for self-compassion.

It’s easy to feel like you’re doing something wrong when you’re still grieving long after others expect you to be “over it.” But the truth is, there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Grief has its own timeline, and it’s different for every person and every loss.

My Own Journey Through Grief

2024 has been the hardest year of my life. I lost my grandparents, one of my best friends, a pregnancy, and parts of myself I never expected to grieve. Each loss hit differently but connected in the way they stripped away pieces of my identity, forcing me to confront who I am without these anchors in my life.

Losing my grandparents felt like losing my foundation—the steady source of presence, love and wisdom that shaped so much of who I am. When my close friend passed, I lost not just a companion, but someone who truly understood me. His absence left me with a space I’m still learning to understand.

Then came the miscarriage, an entirely different heartbreak. It wasn’t just losing a baby—it was losing a future I had been manifesting for years. That dream was taken in a moment, and I felt blindsided.

Each of these losses took parts of me with them. They forced me to confront my identity, purpose, and understanding of love in ways I never expected. But through this pain, I’m learning to let myself grieve, to honor what I’ve lost while finding a way to rebuild.

Grief doesn’t have a timeline, and I’m realizing it’s not something you move on from but something you carry with you. Living with these losses evolve into its own form of creation every day, but I know they’ve shaped me into a different person—one still learning to embrace the love that remains.

Giving Yourself Permission to Grieve

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that grief isn’t something we need to “fix.” We live in a culture that prioritizes productivity and resilience, but when it comes to grief, there’s no rushing through it. You can’t skip ahead to the part where you feel better; you have to allow yourself to go through the emotions, even when they feel too heavy to bear.

There were so many moments when I wanted to tell myself to just move on, to stop wallowing in the sadness, but I learned that grief doesn’t respond to that. It demands to be felt. It asks for presence, patience and compassion.

And it’s not just the emotional part of grief that needs care—it’s the physical side, too. For me, I found that my body processes grief different than my mind and soul. I started to see that grieving wasn’t just something I was doing mentally, but physically as well. I naturally become accutely aware of when my energy was low, and when I felt disconnected from myself. I’ve also had to learn how to care for myself in a different way, by resting when I needed to and letting go of the pressure to “bounce back”, regardless of how much time had passed.

If there’s one thing I want you to take from this, it’s that you don’t need to rush your healing. Give yourself permission to take all the time you need. There’s no timeline for grief. It’s a journey, not a destination.

The Importance of Community

While I’ve come to understand that grief is a personal journey, I also believe in the power of community when we’re going through loss. But here’s the thing—not everyone knows how to show up for you when you’re grieving, and that’s okay. Sometimes, the people you expect to be there just don’t have the capacity to hold space for your pain.

During my miscarriage, I felt an overwhelming silence from people I considered close. Some didn’t reach out at all, while others offered well-meaning but empty comments. It made me realize just how little we, as a society, know about supporting someone who’s grieving.

What I found to be most helpful were the friends and connections who simply checked in. They didn’t try to fix things or offer advice—they just listened. Sometimes, they sat with me in the quiet, and other times, they let me cry. They didn’t try to hurry me through my feelings or suggest that I should be “over it” by now. They were just there, and that made all the difference.

If you’re supporting someone through grief, remember that your presence is enough. You don’t need to have the right words, and you don’t need to fix their pain. Just being there, showing up, and offering your support in whatever way feels right to you can make all the difference.

Navigating Grief in Your Own Time

Through my grief this year, I often felt the pressure to “move on” and get back to life as it was before. But grief doesn’t follow a straight path. It’s messy, it’s unpredictable, and it can catch you off guard at any moment.

There were times when I felt okay, and then out of nowhere, I’d be hit with a wave of sadness. I would see something that reminded me of what I had lost, and all the emotions would come flooding back. At first, I tried to fight it—I didn’t want to keep feeling this way. But the more I resisted, the harder it became to heal.

What I’ve learned is that healing from grief requires surrender. It’s about letting go of the need to control the process and allowing yourself to feel whatever comes up, whenever it comes up. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and there’s no timeline that you need to follow.

For me, it took a long time to accept that the grief I was feeling wasn’t going to magically disappear. In truth, I am still learning this. But over time, I’ve learned that grief doesn’t have to be something we’re afraid of. It’s not something to “get over,” but something to integrate into our lives. And when we give ourselves the space to do that, it can open us up to deeper connections with ourselves and others.

Finding Grace in Grieving

Grieving gracefully doesn’t mean that you have to be perfect or have it all figured out. It means giving yourself the compassion you deserve as you navigate one of the hardest parts of life. It means being gentle with yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed and allowing yourself to feel joy when it comes, without guilt.

There’s a certain grace that comes from allowing yourself to be fully human, to embrace the messiness of life, and to recognize that loss is a part of the human experience. When we give ourselves that grace, we open ourselves up to a kind of healing that goes beyond just getting through the day—it’s about learning to live with the loss, without letting it define us.

In my own journey, I’ve found that there is beauty in grief, even though it’s hard to see in the moment. The loss I experienced brought me closer to myself in ways I didn’t expect. It reminded me of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing every moment. And most importantly, it deepened my empathy for others who are grieving.

Opening the Conversation

We need to talk more openly about grief. Too often, it’s a topic that makes people uncomfortable, but the more we shy away from it, the more isolated those who are grieving become. By sharing our stories, we create a space for others to do the same. We break down the walls of silence and allow healing to take place, not just for ourselves but for everyone around us.

When I recorded an episode of the Grieving Gracefully Podcast with Kelly Sammon, we dove deep into this conversation. We talked about the importance of embracing grief and making space for it in our lives. It was a vulnerable and heartfelt discussion, and it made me realize how much we need these kinds of conversations.

My hope is that by sharing my story, I can encourage others to share theirs. Grief doesn’t have to be something we go through alone. We can support each other, hold space for one another, and find grace in the process.

Healing Through Grief

Grief is challenging, but it’s also a part of life. It’s something we all go through, and it’s something we can learn to navigate with compassion—for ourselves and for others. When we allow ourselves to grieve fully and give ourselves the space to feel our emotions, we open the door to healing.

If you’re going through grief right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Take all the time you need, and don’t be afraid to ask for support. And if you’re supporting someone who’s grieving, remember that your presence is enough. You don’t have to have all the answers—you just have to show up.

Embracing grief is a journey, but it’s one we don’t have to walk alone. Together, we can create a world where loss is a normal part of life, where we honor our grief with grace, and where we find healing in the process.

For more of my personal perspective on grief, tune into my episode on the Grieving Gracefully Podcast.

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Copyright 2024 – Simply Ashley Graham – All Rights Reserved